Posted By Posting
Nov 15, 2008
ethan's mom
Meridith
Mom to Ethan, born 4/23/08. Diagnosed with Reflux at about 1 month, started medicating with Zantac, which wasn't helpful for us. At about 2.5 months, we started on Prevacid, twice a day, and that is working much better.
Ethan is breastfed and has a few solids that he is enjoying very much.
Need to Vent --OT
So my in-laws are in town this weekend. FIL leaves monday, but MIL is staying for two weeks. They are very kind, but so incredibly opinionated and unaware that I don't want their opinion, that they make me crazy!

Things have been going okay, but they have a very different philosophy on night parenting than my hubby and I do. Last night, Ethan was up two hours from 3 to 5 AM. I would normally go to him, nurse and then put him back down to sleep, checking in every 15 minutes, provided that I can't see any signs of reflux, or other illness. Usually he is back to sleep within half an hour. Because I didn't want to hear it, I tried to stay and comfort him last night, thus he was up for two hours, finally falling asleep laying with me on the futon, swaddled. I get absolutely no sleep when he sleeps with me, so I am unwilling to do it, unless there is good reason why he needs me.

Tonight, he went down to sleep at 6:45, but woke at 7:20, screaming. We were eating dinner, and they started to comment on how his father would have been jumping up and down yelling at his mother if she had tried this strategy. I COULDN'T CARE LESS!

I have been upstairs doing my check-ins for 45 minutes now, and I can hear them commenting on his crying down stairs. ARGH.

I don't comment on how ridiculous I think that it is that their other grandchildren 2 and 4 cannot get themselves to sleep at night or naps, have absolutely no nap or bedtime routine, and have never, ever spent a night without mom, dad or grandma in bed with them. They all think this is a wonderful situation, and I cannot even imagine it. All I would like is the same respect for the strategy that I have chosen. I understand that the strategy seems harsh, but countless books and doctors recommend it, so it certainly works, provided that it works for the household.

I provide great care for Ethan during the day, and feel like I have made this night time choice with his overall needs in mind, so I get frustrated that because it is different than what is done in their culture that I have to hear comments on it.

I think I'm done venting. Hopefully, Ethan will go back to sleep soon. Thanks for letting me vent, and I want to make sure that I make it clear that if you have chosen a different night time strategy, I think that is just fine, if that is what works for your family. I think these are decisions that we all make that are somewhat difficult, and I'm sure that we have all made the best decision that we can for our family and our little ones. :)

Nov 15, 2008
bigdaddy
Liz, mom to Donnie 12/2005
Surgery for Pyloric Stenosis at 5 weeks old
GERD since 4 weeks old
Colic until 13 weeks old
Delayed Gastric Emptying
MSPI
Surgery for Tubes and Adenoidectomy at 14 months old
Anemic since 9 month check
Febrile Seizures
Speech Therapy
MEDS: Zyrtec, Nasonex, Xopenex,
Vitamins with iron, and back on Prevacid as of 12/2008
There is no post long enough for me to vent about my mil, just know I feel for you!!! I live 3 miles from my inlaws so there is no escaping it!!!! Hang in there! You know what is best for your child! -Liz
Nov 16, 2008
nicholasmom
Renee, mother to Nicholas, born 4/18/08 with silent reflux, moderate laryngomalacia, Sandifer's Syndrome& suspected MSPI. On Neocate, Simply Thick and Prevacid. Also mother to Nathan, born 12/06/06, who had mild reflux the first few months.
Meredith (&Liz), I feel your pain!! My MIL makes the mother on Everybody Loves Raymond seem tame!!! And 3 miles, I've got you beat. She's only 3 blocks!!! Always trying to tell us how and what to do. When Nathan was only a few weeks old, she actually yanked him from my arms while he was crying so she could comfort him because she didn't feel I was able to do it right. This was at Christmas in front of a house full of people!! Let me tell you, we had words after. Meredith, maybe you can say something to your hubby so that he will support you and say something to your MIL. My MIL seems to only be concerned if her son is upset, not me. Be careful how you discuss it with hubby as it is his mom and it's always a fine line when you are taking about his mother. Just expresss how it makes you feel. For what it's worth, I think you're a great mom!!! Good luck.
Nov 16, 2008
maggiemom
Maggie is now 3 years old and reflux free (knock on wood). I still check in some to see how everybody is doing :) Hugs to all!
I feel for you! If anything good can come of my mil being very sick the last few months, it's the fact that she will see--I can do this without her! That may be harsh under the circumstances, but I know that she has to be thinking about the fact that I've made it perfectly fine without her help and advice.

There's no easy way to tell inlaws to butt out. I finally did it a few years ago, it helped but didn't work completely. Hugs!

Nov 16, 2008
ethan's mom
Meridith
Mom to Ethan, born 4/23/08. Diagnosed with Reflux at about 1 month, started medicating with Zantac, which wasn't helpful for us. At about 2.5 months, we started on Prevacid, twice a day, and that is working much better.
Ethan is breastfed and has a few solids that he is enjoying very much.
it's more my FIL, which is fortunate, since his visit is so short! My hubby does stick up for our choices, but his father just talks over him.

I guess while I was showering this morning, his dad suggested that we sell our dining room table, a Christmas gift from my parents just last year, so that Ethan could have the dining room as a play room. Never mind that the living room was rearranged so that Ethan has a ton of room to play, and that Ethan has his own bed room which will be suitable for playing when he is ready to play independantly.

The most frustrating thing is that I know he wasn't this way with his children. The two boys had one bike to share, never had toys, with the exclusion of an Atari, and tennis rackets. How in the world are two boys, one year apart supposed to share a bike!

Yet I should rearrange my entire house so that Ethan has entire rooms designated as play rooms, and so that I never have a place for guests.

To quote my FIL, "None of this would be happening if Meridith were Indian." That just about sums it up, becuase I am an American, I will never do anything good enough.

Sorry, another vent just came out, and I haven't even seen them yet this morning.

Bless you guys whose in laws live so close. I couldn't do it.

Nov 16, 2008
amber f
I'm sorry it is so rough. Hang in there. Stick to your guns and don't change a thing. You will always be Mommy and no matter what they do or say nothing will change that. A whole room for play? WTH? Anyway good luck with the rest of the visit.
Nov 16, 2008
nicholasmom
Renee, mother to Nicholas, born 4/18/08 with silent reflux, moderate laryngomalacia, Sandifer's Syndrome& suspected MSPI. On Neocate, Simply Thick and Prevacid. Also mother to Nathan, born 12/06/06, who had mild reflux the first few months.
Multicultural/racial relationships always seem to have their rough spots. My mother hasn't spoken to me since my husband and I moved in together 6 years ago. Sometimes I think it's easier because she's a difficult person all around, but mostly it's just sad for her because of all she's missing. Hang in there. At least it's just a visit and not a permanent thing.
Nov 16, 2008
engin117
My name is being used fraudently to ill represent me. Please be cautious of any information you receive with my name. including engi.nowaira.net, engi@nowaira.net, Engi@nowaira.us, anything from anyone claiming to be Engi Nowaira online. Otherwise, I will be representing myself in person so that everyone will have opportunity to identify me in person.
My previous drivers license was also stolen. The new one has extra security features on it.
I am sorry to for your tough time, but I think it is great that you are sticking to what you believe in. While it may not be easy and I am not able to do it myself, I think what you are doing is helping teach your child very important life skills.

I hope today has been a better day.

Nov 16, 2008
ethan's mom
Meridith
Mom to Ethan, born 4/23/08. Diagnosed with Reflux at about 1 month, started medicating with Zantac, which wasn't helpful for us. At about 2.5 months, we started on Prevacid, twice a day, and that is working much better.
Ethan is breastfed and has a few solids that he is enjoying very much.
I'm not sure if anyone is still reading this post or not, but if you are, you might get a laugh out of this.

I came home from taking everybody to get pictures taken, (which FIL wanted, but was 20 minutes late getting ready for, and wouldn't smile in) and found that my living room rug had been turned completely perpendicular to how I had it set up. I just about lost it, and asked my husband why in the world the rug had been moved. He said that his dad thought that Ethan should have the rug, and we should have room around it to walk without our shoes on. I just quietly explained that I guess he could have it his way, after all, it is MY house.

Anyway, noon tomorrow, his visit is over, and we are safe at least until after the new year.

Renee, I'm sorry that your situation is so hard, especially since it is your mom.

Thanks guys for reading this. It has really helped to have some perspective, and I'm sure I could handle it a little better, if Ethan weren't having sleep troubles.

Check with your
doctor first!