Posted By Posting
Aug 28, 2008
Our 1 year old daughter has silent reflux, hypotonia as well as benign external hydrocephalus. We are currently weaning onto whole milk (we'll see if it works) and she is also on Prevacid 15mg per day.
Did this ever happen to you?
You're weeks away from your child's first birthday and the unfortunate events that happened after their birth- the pressures to nurse your child from your in laws and friends, the non stop screaming and you don't know why, the nursing not going well if at all, the endless days and nights of screaming coming from this little baby you've waited so long for and you feel helpless as you don't know what's wrong and then the post partum depression comes in..... need I say more? I'm happy we made it through all that but I guess I'm just sad that when I reflect on that time it was probably the hardest time of my entire life. She was so miserable and it took us awhile to get the right help for her and such. I was suffering from PPD which was the worst. At least from here on we can make it more positive of course but I was just curious if anyone else sorta felt that way when it got closer to that time.
Aug 28, 2008
Chris: Mom to Rayna Marie our little miracle born June 13, 2007. 7lbs 12oz. Diagnosed with GERD after ph probe at 5 weeks. Current weight 21lbs 8 oz. Prevacid 8ml in a.m. 2% milk
I also reflected on the first year of Raynas life and what she had been through and how at the time I thought was the hardest thing we've ever had to go through but then I realize that there are going to be harder things like broken bones, first day of school, first heartbreak, first date, her wedding, etc.. But I also know that each experience will make us stronger people, just like I am a stronger person for helping my daughter through her reflux, fighting for answers, being persistent and not taking any crap from anyone. When I was going through my divorce 12 years ago, I can across this poem that had the following line in it---- Do not worry about the past for in is gone, Don't think about the future for it is not here, just live in the present and make it so beautiful that it will be worth remembering. Hope you and your family have a beautiful 1st Birthday with your daughter.
Aug 28, 2008
Lorenzo b.4/25/07 1 week in NICU w/ aspirate pneumonia from a reflux episode; diagnosed GERD at 9weeks; Used Zantac for 5months. Currently using Chinese Medicine and Craniosacral Therapy. GERD, Obstructive Sleep Apnea, Sensory Processing Disorder. Ask me about breastfeeding a refluxer! Pic: day 5 in the NICU.
Yes! I actually set aside some time on Lorenzo's birthday to be alone, to let myself just sit with the memories of the past year -- the easy and delightful ones, and the painful and depressing ones. We almost lost Lorenzo on the day he was born, so it brings up for me both the greatest joy I have ever known and the greatest pain and fear I have ever felt. I also had PPD, and PTSD, and it clouded the memories of his early months of life for me, which holds a lot of sadness for me.

What I found, however, was that by honoring those feelings, by giving myself permission to really feel them without guilt, shame or regret and to re-live in my mind the events of his day of birth, I no longer feel the weight I once felt when I think of that time. I hope you are able to find your own path to discovering the richness of all of those memories, the pleasant and the unpleasant. They are all a gift, for in them you understand the joy and suffering of so many others...

Happy Birthday to both of you...

Aug 28, 2008
Kathryn, Pager Volunteer and mommy to Emily Mia 02/04/07. 3 years old with GERD. 30mg Prevacid and Pepcid AC. Mylanta needed for flares. Failed prilosec med switch. Tried and failed many med weans but GERD and pain are well controlled. Functional constipation. Reoccurring SBBO. Suspected IBD or autoimmune disease. Resolved issues: MSPI, CSID (acquired), Stage 2 kidney reflux, Chronic diarrhea.
Audrey Meadow 06/20/08. born 34/35 weeks. Still b/f and eats everything! ftt and chronic constipation.
hey my mind called and it wants it's thoughts back. lol
Aug 28, 2008
Mary & Nicholas 7-17-03 (non-refluxer)allergies, asthma on Singulair and Flovent & Aidan 1-28-07(my refluxer)Nissen Fundoplication on June 20, 2008, FTT, MSPI, DGE, ear tubes, allergies and severe GERD now currently taking just Prevacid and drinking Elecare Vanilla 1+.
Yes I actually cried on my sons first birthday. It could have been that my in-laws were here driving me insane, but it was such a tough year for me as well and really it was still rough for us at the one year mark. I have come to peace with it since seeing a therapist as I had some serious PTSD from watching my child turn blue and stop breathing constantly when he was little. I will always have some regret about never having that happy birth/newborn experience with either of my children but everyday I am so thankful for what my little ones add to my life. Be true to yourself and honor the feelings good and bad but don't forget to celebrate all that you have! Happy Early Birthday!
Aug 28, 2008
Sharon, Mom to Elyse, 17 mos (15 mos adjusted-preemie). Zantac/Elecare. History of: Respiratory Distress Syndrome with ventilation/CPAP/cannula, tpn, n/g tube, PDA, jaundice, apnea, bradycardia/tachycardia, severe anemia, blood transfusion, reflux, Sandifer's Syndrome, intestinal malrotation, hemangiomas, MSPI, feeding issues. ICU inpatient 53 days! 2 surgeries, 2 UGIs, barium enema, pH probe, endoscopy. Developmentally on target now! PIC: Yobaby Beard
Girl, I STILL feel that way unfortunately. We almsot lost Elyse before she was born (I bled thruout and went into labor starting at 21 weeks on), then after she was born at 31 weeks she of course couldn't breathe or eat or anything on her own....even after coming home from NICU we were certain she was going to die and were almost proven right at age 3 mos when her malrotation was found and she had her intestinal surgery.

So yes, I still look back at those days and they don't feel very happy. The nurses tried to get me to talk to my dr about PPD but I told them I was not depressed, I just had a baby in the NICU/PICU and it was normal to feel sad. I have a ton of regrets about her birth and newborn period, but when I look at her now it was all worth it! Not sure when these feelings will go away...

Aug 28, 2008
Coyle Eagan. One Year Old. Doing well on Cow's Milk flavored with juice :) Drinking two bottles of Go&Grow daily. Eating solids better but still have rough days. No More Silent Reflux-that I can hear anyway.. but puking again. Zantac 2ML 2X daily.
I'm crying right now because i without all of you experiencing the same story i'd be so alone. i don't really have any more words... just that i completely and totally get it.
Aug 29, 2008
mom to Mila 2-20-2007
and Robby 4-22-2004
Mila is on Peptamen JR 30 cal by NG tube. Open Heart Surgery 2/08/08. Captopril, Zantac, Losec, Lasix.
Mila's first 11 months were hell. I hated her. I hated my son. I hated everyone around me. NOTHING felt good. I mean, I loved her but I hated her at the same time. I couldn't stand it. The constant crying and puking and force feeding.

Her first birthday was a HUGE turning point. She had just had heart surgery and she was doing better, even if suddenly I wasn't her mom so much as I was her nurse.

Now 6 months later, I am finally, finally bonding with her but I grieve for the whole year we missed.

Aug 29, 2008
Adriane Reese 05/16/07; seemingly healthy when born; diagnosed with MSPI, severe Reflux, Apnea, Ashtma, Epilepsy, and severe food allergies(rice, corn, milk, soy, eggs, oats, wheat, beef, chicken, squash, pumpkin, avocado, etc.);On apnea monitor, seems to be tolerating RCF w/carbohydrate mixed in; on Zyrtec, Xopenex, Prevacid
You certainly aren't alone. I did the same thing in May. I still do it now when we are struggling. I still have nightmares about Adriane sitting in the carseat seizing not breathing while in the parking lot of the hospital as well as the weeks after that we spent in there just hoping that things would get better.

I know that we don't want to have any more children but every once in a while I get this feeling that I missed out on my last first year. That it was taken from both of us. On the other hand, I also think about how much closer she and I are because of the past year. I was 11 weeks premature and had several issues my whole life and I look at how close my mother and I are and know that I am the strong person that I am because of my circumstances and because of my Mom. You are doing a great job!

Happy early Birthday!

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